Sand

Sand through my fingertips,
Particles blow swiftly in the wind,
I look out at the beautiful blue of the ocean
and think about travelling to distant lands
but why not stop, pause and take a moment
breathe in the fresh air and enjoy where I am
in the here and now. Je suis contente.
I feel content and why change a good thing?
I only feel good vibes about going away
even if it isn't in the nicest area.
I'm doing this for others
as I try to find myself along the way.
But am I going the right way?
On the positive side I'll be with friends
and make new friends on my journey.

Another Day at the Beach

Another Day at the Beach....



The beach was exquisite today. I decided after talking to a few people to not go on that particular Israel program, but I am still looking for programs abroad or even a job close to home. It's funny to call Nova Scotia home, but I like the sound of it. Mom made the house so comfortable and cozy.

Dad played in a CD release party at Saint Anne University. It was for the french immersion program so only French was spoken. I felt so lost even with my 7 years of French, I could hardly understand what was going on around me. I think I scared a couple of boys away when they asked in French if the seat was taken. “Oui, Oui” I said thinking they said the opposite. Then, I started talking in English and one of the boys said “you can't talk in English”, “desolee” I reply, meaning terribly sorry. Who uses that?! You had to be there. Anyway dad played great as always. Here's a link to the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzNFtyM9Oug


Here are some pictures from the day! Enjoy!

Country Living

I finished another good book called, Farm Fatale. I really enjoyed it. My goal is to read at least one book a week. I'm still applying for work, but the job market is tough out there. I've gotten a few responses back, but nothing definite. I've been feeling much better lately. I have more energy and have been sleeping less than 12 hours a night. It's hard to be so far away from everything. I miss just going out to a cafe and writing my bad poetry, but there are no cafes nearby, only cows and fields of grass. The colors here and the light are exquisite. It's beautiful for painting landscapes, if only I had that talent. I think I need a new hobby besides reading and writing, while this is important, I devote an inordinate amount of time to each of these activities. Anyway, the two calves in the field are adorable, one is tan, the other dark brown. There are a bunch of starlings in the barn and the momma constantly goes out to feed the little ones. Also, I'm learning Hebrew and French, but I need to focus on one language at a time. Hopefully I'll be able to go to Israel this year. Keep your fingers crossed.

Picnic Table

Another day on the farm...Walked around a 3 mile loop, working up to running around the whole thing. Trying to brush up on my French with this awesome language learning program. Maybe I'll even try to learn Russian and Spanish on the side if I'm feeling ambitious. Applied to another job.

The light outside is beautiful!

Beach

5/25/11

Took a walk on the beach today! First time I've been on the beach since I've been back and I really missed it. Here are some beach pics.








This morning I commenced the job hunt. I made some progress and chatted with a Smith Alum who also happens to live in Nova Scotia.

It looks like the farm internship will not work out because they have no openings until August. It also looks like my plans to travel to Israel and teach English are also dashed. But I need to remember as much as I wanted this position it is not the only option. Once I get my mind set on one thing it is hard for me to let go. On to the next thing...because I can't look backwards I can only look ahead. I did find some promising jobs close by which I will apply for. Now I'll go to enjoy the last rays of sun on the deck overlooking the marsh.

Cherry Tree

5/23/11

The cherry tree is in full bloom. The baby calves are walking around the field with the cows. Today was a slow day. I spent most of the day relaxing, napping, and eating. The air here has a soporific affect and makes me tired. I feel like I'm in a field of poppies. I'm really glad I don't have any plans this summer yet. This leaves my schedule very flexible. Tomorrow is my interview with the organic farm person. I'm also thinking about applying to a program in Israel to teach English for 10 months. I'm excited about working on a farm. It will give me a chance to clear my head and think about what I want to do in the future. It will also get me in shape for the summer. I want to learn how to be more self-sufficient.

Digby Pines

Today we had lunch at the Digby Pines Resort with the Southwest NS Jewish group. We met some really great people! We chatted about music and politics and had some good laughs. I'm still thinking about the farming internship. I'm going from city-girl to farm-girl. However, I do still miss the city. Its a trade-off and I hate being so far away from my friends. I'm just going to try to make the best of it while I'm in this time of transition. We travelled down to East Ferry and then stopped at a park. I do love NS. It definitely has a slower pace. We almost got stuck in the middle of nowhere, but I think we'll make it to Digby. It was beautiful weather today: sunny and breezy with clear blue skies.

End of the World

5/21/11

Supposedly it is the end of the world today, but it does seem like an end of something-not quite as drastic as the end of the world. It's the end of my Smith world, the bubble I was proudly a part of since freshman year-just four years ago. Where did those four years go? They were some of the best years of my life and also some of the most challenging. I made some of the best friends who I hope to keep in touch with for years to come. From all the studying and partying and just living life, I've learned many valuable life lessons. Thanks to all those friends and family that helped me get through some of those tough years! I'm very grateful for your support and unconditional positive regard. I wasn't planning on starting my first blog like this, but it seems appropriate because I wouldn't be where I am today without the support of many people. Besides I've also learned that spontaneity can be a good thing and I value those spontaneous, fun moments in my life. Some things have not changed and the support has been one of those constant anchors in my life. What has changed? I've changed throughout the years in many subtle ways that even I cannot completely discern. “I chose the path less travelled and that has made all the difference.” Another quote that comes to mind is from Nina Simone, who shares my name, “Where do you go when you don't even know what it is you desire.” I know what I don't like, so at least I've narrowed the list down somewhat. There are still many question marks in my life right now, still so many unanswered questions, but I'm used to navigating my way through the unknown. It seems like just yesterday that I was walking along the beach in Nova Scotia debating what college I should go to and carefully weighing the pros and cons. And even sooner since I debated which major was the right choice for me as I vacillated between Psychology and English eventually deciding on the more practical choice of psychology. I still don't know exactly what I will be doing this summer, but whatever it is I feel well-equipped thanks to the skills I've gained from Smith College, whether it's farming in Nova Scotia or teaching English in Israel. I have many options open to me and I'll keep you updated as soon as I know more.